Learn Java in 15 minutes ... and call us to repair the damages for 12 months :)

I recently had the absolute pleasure of refactoring a Kotlin class—officially called a controller—that contained, well… everything. It was a controller, a repository, a couple of data model, and, for good measure, a bunch of other random components. The only thing missing? A service layer! Because who needs structure when you can just dump everything into one gigantic file?

This controller was writing directly into the database using the repository. Easy, peasy… not too different from those ancient .jsp files that happily mixed HTML, Java, and direct database calls in one gloriously unreadable mess.

After some deep breaths (and a silent prayer to the coding gods), I extracted seven files from this monstrosity without even starting to refactor the code. Discussing the origins of this coding style with a colleague, we came to a simple yet terrifying conclusion:

The developer learned the grammar but not the syntax of programming.

Because let’s face it—writing a few lines of code that compile has absolutely nothing to do with software engineering.

And where did this masterpiece of chaos originate? Probably from the YouTube School of Software Development, where you can learn Java in 15 minutes and destroy a project in 15 days.

YouTube School: Become a Developer During Your Lunch Break

YouTube is the modern oracle of wisdom. Where else can you:
✔️ Learn Java in 15 minutes
✔️ Build a million-dollar startup in an hour
✔️ Get six-pack abs just by watching videos (no actual exercise required!)

Today, let’s talk about those countless “Learn Java (or Kotlin) in 15 Minutes” videos.

You know the ones—the flashy thumbnails with an overwhelmed guy pointing at a Java logo, big red arrows, and a “seriously” statement. Because clearly, 15 minutes is all it takes to master a language that has been evolving for over 25 years.

The Magic of Speed-Learning Java and Kotlin

Here’s what you usually get in those life-changing 15 minutes that will supposedly turn you into a top developer:

✅ A two-minute intro on “What is Java?” (Cue dramatic music and a stock photo of coffee.)
✅ A rushed explanation of public static void main(String[] args). Don’t ask why—it just works!
✅ A copy-paste example of an if statement. Conditionals? Done!
✅ A quick loop (but only for, because while is too much for 15 minutes).
✅ A mystical mention of OOP (Object-Oriented Programming), but no time to explain it.
✅ And finally… “Congratulations! You know Java!” 🎉

At this point, the viewer, is qualified to apply for senior developer jobs.

The Real-World Consequences

But what happens when these YouTube University graduates start working on a real-world project? Oh, the joy:

1. NullPointerException Wonderland – Nobody told them about exceptions. Why handle errors when you can just hope for the best?
2. The Great Static Everything™ – No need for OOP! Just throw static everywhere until it compiles.
3. SQL Injection Fiesta – Nobody covered prepared statements. Who cares? Just concatenate strings and move on!
4. Microservices? More Like Micro-Disasters – “I’ll just put everything in one giant class. That’s basically the same thing, right?”
5. Memory Leaks & Performance Nightmares – Garbage collection? Who needs it when you can just restart the server every few hours?
6. Technical Debt That Could Sink a Startup – “Why does our codebase look like a spaghetti monster from hell?” Because Chad from YouTube said 15 minutes was enough.
7. No Architecture, No Problem – Who needs layers? Just dump everything into one file.

The Best Part... AI Can Reduce This Time from 15 Minutes to 0!

Honestly, I’d trust an LLM-generated solution more than a 15-minute developer. At least with AI, there’s a chance that the code follows some best practices. With AI, there’s no need to even pretend to learn the language anymore!

The Benefits for Serious Developers

If you’re a serious developer, rest assured—the mess created by fast-tube keyboard typers will generate such catastrophic long-term technical debt that you’ll be called in to fix their project for months (or years). Job security, right?

So what’s the difference between a cheap and fast 15-minute keyboard monkey and a serious developer?

✔️ A serious developer knows that if something can go wrong in their code, it will happen in production.
✔️ A serious developer maintains a consistent code structure following standard design patterns.
✔️ A serious developer writes code with readability and maintainability in mind, because someone else will have to work on it.

Learning Java (or any programming language) takes time. Understanding best practices, design patterns, frameworks, and debugging techniques doesn’t fit into a TikTok-length tutorial.

Take the time to learn properly. Your future self—and your team who has to maintain your code—will thank you.

YouTube Can Be Useful

To be fair, YouTube isn’t all bad. The Java and Angular teams regularly post videos about new features and updates.

YouTube is great for staying updated on new technologies—not for learning them.

If you’re serious about becoming a good developer:

• Invest in quality learning resources like LinkedIn Learning and O’Reilly books.
• If you can’t spend money, the official documentation and GitHub repositories will teach you the language inside out.

Because at the end of the day, you don’t want to be the guy who learned Java in 15 minutes… and spent 15 months cleaning up the mess. 🚀